I believe the time you spend being pregnant is rehearsal for the role of becoming a mother. You are suppose to read every pregnancy and mothering book available. Make sure you do research to prepare for the big day. Then delivery day arrives and you are on. The director shouts action, labor begins, and baby is placed in your arms. However, the camera never stops rolling and no one yells “that’s a wrap”. My new role as a mother began on November 18, 2009. Olivia was placed in my arms at 10:56 AM. My old role of woman without child is no longer part of this cast.
My life has been all about her with minimum sleep since we arrived at the hospital. Nothing has been easy. The day we were discharged our baby girl was admitted into NICU. Her oxygen level dropped and they wanted to monitor it for a few days. Having to leave the hospital without your new baby is not right. I had left my house 2 days before with a pregnant belly now I am home without a baby in my arms. We spent the next 4 days traveling between home and hospital. Trying to be there for her feedings was difficult. I did my best to pump so she could have breast milk when I was not there, that was not easy. There I was a brand new mother having no idea how to use a pump and not even sure how to breastfeed. I just kept telling myself she needs my milk and I don't want her to have formula. I was so worried about her not being able to bf when we got home.
In addition to her brief stay in NICU, we were told she has a Port Wine Stain on the left side of her face. This small marking on her face has continued to grow and darken. Three weeks ago we were informed that is really a Hemangioma and not a Port Wine Stain at all. A completely different diagnosis requiring different treatment. Our lives changed a bit more that day.
I normally don't have great expectations. However, I was hoping my new mom life would be easy. I had a great pregnancy. Gained 22 pounds and was only sick for the first 11 weeks. My birth was amazing. All Natural, no pain meds or IV's needed. Water broke at 6:30 and she arrived by 11. Everything just fell into place. I should have known it was too good to be true.
Just like all new moms I am learning each day, figuring out her personality, and dealing with her medical issue. Through cries and smiles here I come.
