New year New Me. Just kidding

"Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for", a few years offline. Thanks LL
Seriously, I can't believe I was able to log onto this blog. My last post was in 2013 and it was about Santa. I'm sure it was so hilarious that I had to stop writing. I started this blog when Olivia was born, '09'.  It was a way to deal with the medical stresses from the hemangioma. Then when we moved to MD, I talked about my new environment. The lack of friends I was making. Along with the people I didn't like, (I mean who didn't like me).  That was a tough time for us. So, we decided to have a second child, our Mila!  Eventually, my prayers (and my mom's) were answered. Back to sunny, happy, and expensive CA we went. We moved back to San Diego in 2015, three days before Olivia started kinder. Nothing like introducing your child to her new home state. Then tossing her into a full Spanish immersion school. Take that kid!

Fast foward to last night. Who am I kidding, more like the last two years. I keep thinking "I need to do something with myself". Yes, I run and I'm sure I can bore you with that later. Yes, I'm a mom. It's the most important job you'll ever have, in case you haven't been told so many times.  I get to clean, cook, and pack lunches everyday. Wash laundry, help with non English homework, yell all the time, care for the sickies, come up with fast answers when told "mom, my finger hurts when I move it this way".  So, don't move that way, I'am amazing.  As I look over my wrinkles in the mirror, starting to appear (yes, just starting) I think, is this it?

So, I'm officially bringing it back. All of it! Even this blog.
Some ideas running through my head.

I will set new running goals. Because people love when I overshare about miles and complain when I'm slow. Maybe, i'll try a new fitness venture, and brag about it.

I will adventure into the wild and make friends (just kidding). At least talk to the ones I have.

I will become "awesome mom" and make a shirt about it. Focus on raising kind/polite children who can one day make a difference. HAHA too late, have you met Olivia?

Make a craft when I get a Micheal's coupon, of course.

Sell jewelry for Stella & Dot. Otherwise I have to use it all the time. So, my husband doesn't think I wasted money again.

Start posting cute clothes I want to buy and pretend I have somewhere to wear them.

Be a positive Patty and finally read "40 days to a Joy-Filled Life". Bought a month ago. Couldn't get past page 3, "think this not that".

Looking forward to this fresh start. As my husband of 15 years says "get it done"!

Mom's letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Hi, it's me, another going crazy mother of two.  I would like to start by saying how grateful I am to stay home with them ALL DAY. 

Sometimes I think I wouldn't want it any other way, but let's be honest, because you already know, most of the time I wish there was someplace else I could go.

Being a parent means we don't have gifts under the tree. However, my kids are four and two of course they expect something good from you. I figured why not ask for a couple of things. It would be fun to see what Santa can bring. 

Have I been naughty or nice?  "Come on, I'm a mom, every morning is a roll of the dice." I only yell with good reason and trying to keep it down since "tis the season." 

I do my best to be a "good enough" mother. I never promised to be better than any other. 

One- A handbag is always appreciated. I'll take another ,Tory, Louis, Kors or even a Gucci. 

From any store will do. Nothing to small, I am a mom after all. 

It has to fit my occasional lipstick, their juices and snacks. Something that doesn't resemble a backpack. 

Two- Maybe some make-up, but who do I see? My days of acting and modeling are far behind me. I'm currently playing the role of  "permanent tired mommy".  

Three- Clothes are an option, Nordstrom, H&M and I love J.Crew. 

It doesn't really matter what I wear around my two. 

Whatever you pick will be fine. I normally wear the same few things all the time. 

Let's get serious with real needs. A facial, waxing, and nail appointment are long overdue. A day off with pay would be awesome too.

The one gift I'm always happy to receive is a bottle of wine that is just for me. You can never go wrong with some type of alcohol. :)

Maybe as a mom that's bad to say.  But, seriously what else can I look forward to at the end of my day. 

Whatever you decide to bring me I'm happy to accept. Being a mom to O&M is truly the best gift I could get. 

Let's all remember It's not about receiving but giving.. So feel free to give to me.. Ok just kidding :) 

Merry Christmas! 

I can take a hint...we won't be friends

Can't believe I've been in Baltimore for three years.  Time really goes by fast when your with kids all day.  One struggle I seem to face with being a stay at home mom is making friends.  Meeting other moms with children. I often think about how much fun it would be to have play dates or lunch dates. Call and say, "what are you guys doing today."  Just being able to share a laugh, whine to, or drink some wine ;) would be lovely.

Wish I could say, "it's me not them."  But so far, it's the women I've met.  They don't like me.  Truth is I'm not always the friendliest person. (shocker, I know)  However, since I've left CA, I've been forced to step out of my comfort zone.  Signed up for meet-up groups where I walked into homes of complete strangers.  Joined Stroller Strides for two years. I spent three mornings a week walking around an outlet mall pretending I was really working out.  While, trying to make small talk with woman that could care less.  Attended a few play group events and mom's night out (sorry, but Olive Garden should never be a MNO option) just saying.  I finally realized I was never going to fit in.

When we moved to our now home in February, I had hope for new friendships.  One evening Alex mentioned he saw a mother and her little boy down the hall from us.  He adventually convinced me to introduce myself (again, out of my comfort zone).  The introduction went well, so I thought.  Her son was 2 1/2, she was home all day, and she didn't know a lot of moms in the area.  Perfect, right?  Wrong.  Ever since that first introduction I only receive a small grins from her.  The couple of times I've seen her outside I did ask about going to a children's museum or another kid activity.  Never, did she say "oh, we should meet, or get together."

I started to realize we were never going to be BFF's when I ran into her at the train museum story time. Not exactly a happening place, unless your a member.  Happy to say, I'am.  On our first visit I brought my MIL with me. Always nice to have help at story time with two kids.  Stuff can get pretty crazy up  in there.  I spotted her ahead of us at check in and part of me felt a glimmer of hope.  The hope for future train meet-ups.  I quickly turned on my (I really care voice) and said, "look girls it's Charlie, hi."

Her response, a head turn in my direction with a grin.  Seriously?  Do I not live four doors down from you lady?  Since that day there have been a few other head nod moments.  Times when I'm running outside, walking into the building, or just out an about.  However, her husband has no problem saying "hi Adaline", anytime I see him.  My husband likes to say, "oh, did you see your boyfriend again." Hey, I can't help it if someone is polite.

Maybe one day I'll get annoyed enough to say, "hey what's up with your wife?"  Why doesn't she like me?

However, the final straw has been drawn.  I took my youngest to a play gym class outside of the city.  Guess who walks in before us?  Yes, my nice neighbor. Once again I received a head nod after saying hello.  Went through the entire class without saying a word to each other.  I even tried to shove my kid into hers for some interaction.  Nothing.

I may sound whiny about this but it bothers me.  Sure, there are more things I could try.  More excuses I can make for her but it's time for me to say, "what-eva's."  My small cool chic's and I are taking our ball and going home (or down the hall).  Your loss lady!

Finished the full race.

Here is my recap of the uphill and downhill climb.  Did my best to break it all down for you.

1.  Felt good at the starting line even if I didn't make it to the restroom one last time.
2. The race begins I'm great for two minutes, then I trip. Yes, I did it, fell again. Luckily it was not serious (skinned knee) but I thought I would get trampled if I didn't get up fast.
3. I did a good job staying with my pace group. (3:55) Then I passed them after the hill on mile six Yay!
4. Saw my husband cheering on the side at mile eight. Early enough I was able to smile and wave for the camera.
5.  Mile 10-12 rain started. Thought,  "oh, they'll have to stop the race". No luck. Rocky theme song "Eye of the tiger", was playing as we turned a corner. Now I feel like a real runner.
6. My husband is cheering me on again at mile 13. Half Marathon done with a good time of 1:53. Only 13 more miles to go.
7. Mile 14 we run by our building and I see my little ladies with in-laws. So cute, I gave them high fives an hear them say "go mommy".
8. Thinking I might live through this thing after all. Grabbed a bag of chips and banana that were handed out. Then up a hill to mile 16. Band was playing "Sweet home Alabama" as half marathoners were merged in.
9.  Legs are starting to feel heavy and I decide to walk, and focus, again. A man running the half offers me a Motrin, then asks if I want to split it. " umm, no". What am I back in my club days being offered some party pill. No thank you! I pick up my feet and start moving.
10. Close to mile 18 the worst happened. Up another hill and my left knee felt as if it was going to collapse under me. I was screaming in my head. " No,please!"  Then pacing group (3:55) passes me. I might as well toss in the towel now. There goes my good time. Bye Bye. Mile 20, and 21 were tough. I wanted to cry and just stop altogether. My knee was hurting. I stood on the side for a second, looked at my phone and saw the battery was dead. A nice police officer asked if I was ok and if I needed water. Wow, people are nice to me.
11. My feet and knees are moving again up another incline and I'm just focused on breathing. Five more miles I can do this. Wish I had the strength to fix my time but couldn't do it.
12. On mile 24 the downhill begins. Going down hill would be great if it wasn't so painful. Uphill is so much easier at this point. I'm now thinking, "where the 'blank' is mile 25 already, come on!"
13. Spectators on the road are the best. Cheering everyone on, saying "almost done" and "you got this". Some people were even handing out cups of beer.  I begin thinking, "Wow, I just ran a marathon". Crazy! Got a bit teary-eyed.
14. There it is, the finish line.  I can see the balloons. The crowd is getting louder. If only I could sprint pass the 70 year old man who looks like he may fall over, I would feel so much better.  I see the clock and I'm thinking "please don't start with a four ". But it did and this race is finished. 4:04 time.
15. There is my very supportive husband waving to me an saying "You did it!"  My happiness and exhaustion are mixed together. Please give me my medal, free food, and get out of my way. I want to sit, now!

Funny, I use to wonder what people thought about while running for four hours. Now I know. You just think about the mile ahead, pray for strength and hope all the people you passed don't pass you.

Till we meet again Mr Marathon. Believe me, we will. It's on. You might be 26.2 miles of struggle, but I'm a mom of two little girls under age four. You can't break me. I'm now a Marathoner!!

Running my first full...

The day I've been training for, the past 10 weeks has arrived. I'll run my first full marathon tomorrow.

While on the pavement I've had sometime to really think about why I run and who I run for.  I became interested in running around 12 years old. I would run with my aunt & mom. I ran my first 5k wearing Keds because I didn't want to wait on the sidelines for my mom.  After running 5 half's and reaching a nice PR of 1:44 this year, I knew what was next.  Running is who I'am.  I'm not creative.  I don't have a career.  I'm now a stay at home mom with two little girls.  Running lets them know that mom can do more than have tea and dance parties.  More than get dinner ready and take care of them all day.  I can really do something for me.

There is nothing easy about running.  I've fallen a couple of times.  My knees ache once in awhile. My legs are sore at night.  My toenails are officially disgusting.  My husband has given up every Saturday morning of relaxing and sleeping in, to watch the girls and walk to farmers market (it's very cute).

Running gives me the chance to feel proud of myself.  Not everyone can run a long distance and I've always admired anyone who can.  I'm running for my parents (wish they could see me finish) I'm running for my husband (because he's with me everyday ) I'm running for my girls (I want them to know they can achieve their goals) and I'm running for me.  So I can enjoy more wine :) jk

No matter what happens tomorrow I'll know that I did it.  Nothing can take that away (accept for the rain that is expected).  Thank you Jackie @ fit sparrow for believing in me when we've never met. It's been fun.

Waiting for break time

Wouldn't it be great if mom's could walk out and take a break anytime?  Unfortunately, the day starts as soon as the first child shows up at our bedroom door.  Letting us know it's morning time.  Then your up and hit the ground running or in my case dragging.  I don't mean to be grumpy when I first wake up but I like to wake up on my own please.

When I signed up for this job called "parent" I didn't read all the fine print.  Your life no longer belongs to you.  Please leave sleep, daily showers, free time, regular workouts, reading, eating normal meals sitting down, girl time (if you have friends), shopping alone, and looking decent in public at the door.  None of these things will be required for this job.  I'm lucky if I get to shower everyday. Sounds gross but a lot of thought has to go into the shower process.  You can't just leave a 2 year old alone with a 3 1/2 year old and think everything will be OK.  Someone will get hurt.  I can bring all three of us into the bathroom, with toys and iPad. Then peek out of the shower curtain every few seconds and decide if conditioner is necessary.  Other option is to let them watch Disney JR from my bed while I yell out of the shower "are you OK?" and "where is your sister?" every couple minutes.  The third option, wait till they are both napping.  However, if one kid naps in my bed that means "be quiet".  Thankful for sound machines.

It's nice when you've been awake since 5:45 and the entire day is waiting for you.  "What are we doing today mom" is my three year old's favorite question.   "I don't know about you two, but mom wants to drink coffee, watch Today show, and workout".  However, it's not about me.   Playtime begins, sister's teasing each other continues,  requests for drinks are yelled out, messes throughout the house are made and mom begging for nap time starts.   It's all part of the morning shift.  Suddenly its 12:30 and I try to think of a healthy lunch to give them.  Grilled cheese on organic bread again, yay!  That's always a crowd pleaser.  Mom will wait for her lunch coverage to walk in.."Oh wait, what did you say?"  No one is going to give me a break today...that's just GREAT.

Next step in treatment...Surgery

Wow, I haven't posted anything since 2011.  Guess a second child keeps you pretty busy, tired, crazy and entertained.  "Now a mother of two and trying to survive" should be the name of this blog.  I also don't write to offer any advice.  I have none.  Sharing a story once in awhile helps me relax, laugh and appreciate life challenges.    

Our little lady Olivia was born with a Hemangioma on the left side of her face.  Just one of those bizarre things that can happen.  As if being a new parent isn't scary enough lets just toss in a rare medical condition.  Going through our experience was horrible but we made it :)

Every expectant mother claims not to have a preference when their pregnant.  Secretly, of course they do, liars.  I always knew I wanted a little girl.  I often tell Olivia "I prayed for a little angel and Jesus gave me you".

After spending her first year of life on medication three times a day.  The second year with pulse dye laser treatments (6 so far) to help with the redness.  It is time for her first reconstructive surgery tomorrow.  We originally planned to start this in November of 2011.  But for several reasons we decided against it.  So glad we did.  Now that more time has passed a less invasive procedure will be performed.  The surgeon is going to add some definition to the upper lip and below her nose. Where scarring is from the ulceration, she had at three months old.

Everyday I wonder if I'm being a good mother.  Something we all ask ourselves.  Am I being a good role model (probably not).  Do I show my girls enough affection?  Do I get upset too much?  I hope I'm not raising bratty girls.  Is this discipline book I'm reading really working?  They should eat better food.  I'm terrible when it comes to nutrition. Did they even eat three meals today?  Is one Eggo considered a meal?   I feel terrible that we can't enjoy the outdoors more.  But that's Maryland's fault not mine.  Tomorrow I will ask myself did we do the right thing?

Olivia continues to teach me about life everyday and she's only three.  If I could be half as sweet as she is to others I may have more friends.  I pray she never losses that.  Tonight I held her hand while she fell asleep.  I kept thinking, my baby has to go through so much just to look "normal".  To help make life easier as she gets older.  When she's already perfect to me.

I'm thankful for the wonderful doctors we've had throughout our journey so far.  I will be praying for our surgeon and nurses tomorrow.  And of course our little girl..procedure to go well and a easy recovery.

Taking back bedtime

For some strange reason Olivia has been all over the clock when it comes to bedtime. I remember when I would brag about her being a great sleeper. Just place her into the crib, put num-num’s next to her, say “night time for little girls”, and push the seahorse on. Four steps was all it took. Oh, how we miss those days.

One night she started standing up in bed right after you closed the door. We tried to stay in our room watching the monitor, hoping she would lay down, but no luck. Once the bunny (num-nums) was tossed overboard we had to step in.

The hot evening heat must be getting to her because forget 7:30 bedtime. It became 10:45, 10:00 or 9:00 if we’re lucky. Four nights, of 3 hour rocking sessions on the porch swing, while singing lullabies, did the trick. Once she fell into exhaustion you could sneak her up to bed. This lasted until she realized what fun sitting outside at night could be. Why go to sleep ever?

After our second weekend spent trying to get her to stay in bed, Dada decided to take charge.

He said, “we can’t let her win anymore”.

“Oh, my hero”.

So, the first night he spent 45 minutes in her room humming to her and keeping her lying down. I must say he did a very good job. I would’ve lost my patience after 15 minutes and just picked her up.

It’s amazing how manipulative a child can be at this age. They can already figure out how to get their way. Olivia would place her foot in between the bars and whine as if it was stuck so daddy could help her. She continued to do this multiple times to keep him right by her. Smart little cookie.

The second night took 25 minutes. Finally the third night took 10 minutes. Happy to say she is now understanding who the bosses are.

“She is not the boss of me”. We have to remember that.

Thank you Dada we now have evenings to ourselves again...for now.

Almost Walking

I’ve scanned through several baby books and they all say the same thing about developments. You should never compare your child to others because they all develop differently. I agree, but I need Olivia to start walking on her own, like yesterday.

We always knew Olivia would be a little behind. It’s important for us to remember she did not have free use of her arms till 5 months old. Crawling began a week after she turned one so obviously walking would take sometime.

We’ve been given some assistance from Baltimore county school district. After having Olivia evaluated she did qualify for home assistance. Since January a therapist comes to our house every two weeks. Giving us guidance on how to help her gain strength. I sometimes wonder what their job really is. They come over and tell me, “Oh, she’s getting there”.

I should say, “of course she’s getting there, what else is she going to do”. I love my child so much but spending my day bending over and holding her hand to walk is not easy.

She just hasn’t gained the confidence to take off on her own. Not bending her knees doesn’t help either. Then there is the game of throwing herself backwards without any fear. Falling on her butt would be progress. Falling back and hitting her head would just be dangerous.

There is also the problem with her feet rolling inward. Finally, our therapist is going to order foot insoles to help. This could mean better support when standing. Hopefully, we are able to see the results. I did ask two different pediatricians about her feet and both said, “don’t worry she’ll grow out of it”.

“Really, because my daughter is 18 months now and I don’t see that happening anytime soon, smart people”.

I’m normally pretty patient when it comes to Olivia. Anytime you spend all day with a child, being patient is a must. The stressful part for me is, I’m now 30 weeks pregnant. If our new baby girl arrives in 7 or 8 weeks I need O to get moving. Two children in diapers I can deal with...two children not walking is a deal breaker. They’re not twins.

Like I say everyday, “it’s a good thing she’s adorable”. Love her. I really wish, I could hold her in my arms forever.

Time for mama to make friends

It’s been almost a year that we’ve lived in MD and I’m failing at making friends. I lived in San Diego my entire life and always had friends. When I worked it was easy to meet one or two new people to connect with. I must admit, I wasn’t always a very good friend. I was terrible at calling and staying in touch. I would flake out on more plans than I followed through.

Lucky for me, I had/have true friends in CA. True friends are there for you no matter what. When you haven’t talked in awhile, no problem, you just pick up where you left off. Thinking about not having friends near me never crossed my mind.

Well here I’am a full-time stay at home mom trying to make sure my kid gets out of the house to see other kids. What about mommy getting out and seeing potential friends.

I did join a couple of mom groups through Meet-up.com. In an old posting I wrote about that experience. Not always so great. Honestly, I did meet one host who I connected with. So, now I just need to step up and put in some effort.

Making new girlfriends can be compared to dating. There is a list in your head of what your looking for in a potential relationship. When you click with that person you’ll know. Just because some woman gave birth to a child, or two, does not make her a new BESTIE.

Maybe my problem is, I REALLY miss my CA friends! Being able to follow them on Facebook doesn’t always help. I love seeing new photos and keeping up on their life. Following online can’t take the place of sharing a bottle of wine, looking cute when we go out, complaining about silly things, laughing out loud, and hearing their voices in person. Love you ladies.

Hemangioma update- Laser time

Our sweetie pie had her first pulse dye laser treatment two weeks ago. The procedure didn’t even phase her but made us a complete wreck. Isn’t that how it will always be? Parents are the ones who will stress about all the what if’s, while the child won’t even know what’s going on. I started stressing and crying about it three weeks before the appointment.

Having this treatment was a huge deal for us. It’s been something we’ve been waiting to do since she was diagnosed with the hemangioma. Her Propranonol was stopped in November and we had to wait six months before we could begin the laser treatment. The dermatologist told us he could take care of the whole area in 90 seconds.

Our thought was, “Really? Then do it now”. Over the past six months the hemangioma did start to regress on it’s own, but without laser, it would be years before it would significantly lighten.

When the appointment was scheduled, we asked a lot of questions. We wanted to know if this was the right procedure for her. We were hoping they would anesthetize her, thinking that it would keep her from being traumatized. But the associated risk was not worth it, considering the length of the procedure.

The doctor told us to order a special numbing cream, lidocaine, from Florida. It has a 12% strength vs 2% we’ve used in the past on her lip ulceration. We were instructed, by the doctor, to apply it 2hrs before the appointment. However, it came with a scary list of warnings and directions. Enough to make us think we shouldn’t be applying it ourselves.

Since Olivia was born we have faced a lot of frightening times. Perhaps the toughest part is not having people around you that are familiar with hemangiomas. Most people have never heard of it, can’t spell it or even pronounce it. Our only option is to completely trust our dermatologist, pray and have faith everything will be fine. I have to say, knowing we’ve made it through the toughest part, when she was younger, makes things bearable.

Very happy to say the procedure took less than two minutes. The anticipation, and expectation, of it being terrible, was far worse than the event. Our sweetie was wrapped up with arms at her side. Her favorite word to say is, “hi”, to everyone. Without fail she said it the entire time, only stopping when the nurse covered her eyes with gauze. Luckily, not being able to see was the only part that made her cry. The numbing cream worked so well she never felt a thing.

The moment the laser ended, the doctor handed her to us and with her bunny blanket, “num-num’s” in hand everything was fine. I was thinking the recovery could be rough, but I was wrong. Her face did have some bruising that lasted a week. There wasn’t any blistering or pain. I can see some lightening to the whole area and hopefully over time it will lighten up even more.

We are now scheduled to have our consultation with a plastic surgeon in August to discuss the scarring above her lip. Our next laser treatment will be in October. Hopefully two or three laser procedures should be enough.

Annoying mom comment

I have to say I really love when mom’s offer their opinion without being asked.

There was a new mom at our morning activity group who I thought could’ve been a possible friendly aquatiance until she made a comment to me while I was feeding Olivia her Gerber yogurt (Gerber’s doesn’t need to be refrigerated). Sure it’s not the best choice in a snack, but it keeps her full till we get home.

So, this sweet mom decides to chime in with her two cents. “Oh, you feed her Gerber yogurt?”

“Yes, I do when we are out, I have Yo Toddler yogurt at home.”

Her nice response, “I don’t buy Gerber because it has so much sugar”.

All I could say was, “OK”.

Really, who feels they need to say something as your child is eating it? I wanted to be rude and say, “great and I care because?” But I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. All I could do was place her name on my annoying mom list.

Unfortunately, my annoying mom list is getting longer all the time.

We are having a...

So today was the day I’ve been waiting for since the double pink line showed up on the pregnancy test. The special ultrasound you can have after 18 weeks to say it’s a girl or a boy. Of course there are the strange people (in my opinion) who prefer to wait till birth to find out the sex. They want to be surprised. I’m not one of them. I was surprised when I found out we were expecting again so soon. I will be surprised when I push the baby out and we meet for the first time to say hello. It is sort of like being given a pretty blue box from Tiffany’s (a favorite of mine) in March then told you can’t open till Christmas. So, you are just suppose to stare at the box till December wondering what’s inside. No, thank you.

We wanted to make the announcement special, and not find out in the exam room. This time around, instead of having tiny boy, or girl shoes, placed into a box, we bought two cute onesies. Finally the time came to find a location to sit and reveal the answer.

With Olivia, we waited till dinner. Alex and I went to a small Italian restaurant, with soft music, and intimate lighting. It really was a sweet experience. However, this time around, not so lucky. Living in MD means no longer having a selection of restaurants or cafes to choose from (at least none I’ve found or know of at 10:30AM). I started crying after we drove around for 30 minutes, “I can’t believe there is nowhere nice to eat”. The alternative idea, of taking Olivia into her playroom, and having the three of us open the box, was sounding pretty good. But 15 miles away from wherever we were, was a Panera Bread. Yup, thats right, our only cafe/bakery/decent restaurant option is a chain.

We quickly walked in, found a seat and turned the camera on. I had a quick second to fix my hair and ask if I looked ok. Finally I placed the white box next to me, reached inside and pulled out a...pink onesie. “It’s a GIRL”, so exciting! I could not believe it. We are going to have another little lady in our house.

I know it doesn’t matter if it was a boy, or a girl, but secretly we were smiling with relief . Maybe we’ve become comfortable with already having a girl so it’s familiar to us. Plus, the idea of spending weekends watching baseball or football games scared me.

Wow, a new baby girl. We have been so blessed with Olivia and her happy demeanor. It will be interesting to see how alike, or how different, the sisters will become. As for picking out a name...I still have four and a half months to go.

My Guilty Time Waster

Over the past few nights I’ve realized I have a silly useless guilty pleasure, making online shopping baskets. No, not online shopping but adding items to a basket pretending I’m going to click purchase.

This sounds innocent enough no one gets hurt and no real money is used. It’s a “win win” situation. After I buy the latest People Style watch, I circle all the items that I should own, then find them online for a closer look. I get to browse Piperlime and view all of Rachel Zoe’s must haves. When I receive online sale notices from Gap, Loft, Nordstrom and J Crew I know I am really saving money. The shopping basket I’m creating is a bargain. Another good part is, I can close the laptop and leave my items setting in the basket for days. Taking my time to think about my needs. Stores only let you hold items for 24 hours. More time means the chance to search more sites and compare shop. I am really becoming the savvy shopper if I do say so myself.

Being a mom really cuts into time spent browsing at the mall. Some people get a nice 25 minutes before the kid starts squirming in their stroller and items start flying out. Unless a diaper needs to be changed you can forget about dressing rooms. Make sure the store has a good return policy. When a “free shipping” notice pops up on my email it’s like holding a cup of juice in front of my daughter, I’m on it. Free shipping takes away any guilt I might be feeling. I didn’t have to waste gas driving to the store and now I don’t have to pay extra for delivery.

There are some sites I purchase from on a regular basis, Diapers.com, Soap.com and Amazon. However, these are go-to sites for Olivia, when I don’t see visiting Target in my near future. Not to be a complete weirdo, I do occasionally buy for myself online, shoes, a handbag, or any other item that keeps calling my name. I just try to be cautious. You can take the shopper out of the store, but you can’t take the shopping away from the shopper.

Baby #2 On Board

My husband and I had been discussing the idea of having a second child. He was all for sooner than later. I was thinking what does sooner mean? Once again whenever you start to think “WE” actually make our own plans, the Lord reminds us his plan is better.

Sometime around Olivia’s first birthday in November a baby was conceived. So my body was ready but my mind was far from it. I have had some time to think about the reasons I didn’t feel pure excitement once I found out we were expecting (alcohol may be one or two of them).

I was really starting to enjoy my daily happy hour with me, myself & I. The three people I can always count on to partake in a little wine time. HH usually started around O’s bedtime between 7 & 7:30. Unfortunately, wine was my writing motivator. After one glass the ideas would start to flow on to my laptop. Is that bad? I guess that’s why I have been slacking off in the writing department. On the up side, we are not spending money on bottles of wine anymore.

The second reason is Sushi. I love Sushi. For my birthday in November, we went to this yummy sushi restaurant. I was so excited to finally find a good place here in MD and was looking forward to many returns. Yes, I know pregnant woman can eat cooked sushi but it’s so not the same, and what about the sake? So sad.

The weather was definitely becoming cooler and I was loving my new Nike running gear. Cute cold weather outfit, perfect for running when it is 40 degrees outside and not to mention it fit so nicely. I was looking good on the run. It will now be awhile before I can squeeze myself into those pants again.

Olivia has a pretty good sleep schedule. She takes at least two naps a day and goes to bed at night without any problems. Say goodnight by 7:30 and hello at 6:30AM. Good sleep means good days for mama. Newborns have to eat every 3-4 hours..seriously. Bye bye sleepy time.

When I finally decided to use the pregnancy test my sweet husband bought me. I really did not want to look at the results. When you know, you know, and I knew. My period was six days late so I knew what that meant. Time to end all holiday drinking and the holidays were just starting. Not fair. Crazy that makes TWO holiday seasons in a row with no ‘medicine’. I miss my wine.

Of course my other thought was, “What about my little lady Olivia”. We are now at the fun personality stage and it’s getting easier to hang out together. Strolling around the mall and sitting down for lunch is somewhat enjoyable. All my attention and energy goes to her. Will the new baby receive less from me? I have always thought of myself as a little grinch. When Olivia was born my heart grew “3 sizes that day”. So I wonder can it really grow more?

Yes, there are bound to be a ton of silly selfish thoughts when you find out your life’s going to drastically change, again. I’m sure just like the first time, the results are priceless. To be blessed with another amazing child is worth missing drinking time any day.

I am not a "Super Mom"

It’s true but I’m starting to realize that becoming “Super Mom” is not in the cards for me. Before I had Olivia I sometimes wondered if I could make the “Super Mom” team. How awesome I would be. Other woman would think, “wow, how does she do it all.”

Maybe there is a “Super Mom” handbook with a list of guidelines to follow. The book chapters may be something like this...

1. Wake up in a positive mood everyday
2. Stay organized without any help
3. Get showered & dressed everyday (before noon)
4. Give 110% to your children.
5. Schedule the week full of activities
6. Make sure your child’s daily menu includes all the food groups
7. Keep television off limits until age two
8. Always fit in personal “Me Time” (hobbies, reading, exercise or home business

The list above is why I will never make the “Super Mom” team and I’m ok with that.

1. I get up at 6:15 everyday because my kid does and I’m not happy about it
2. I’m halfway organized. Items may not be in their place but I know where to find them.
3. Does taking a shower by 6pm count? Does staying in exercise gear count as getting dressed? At least I’m out of my pj’s.
4. My daughter gets 100% and the other 10% is used playing on my phone
5. We go to Stroller Strides, Gymboree, and the mall every week
6. If veggie sticks, blueberry Eggos, and pasta can be eaten everyday then we are good.
7. I try to limit television watching but sometimes Elmo & Barney appear when I need an immediate sitter for 20 minutes.
8. “Me time”...what’s that? Hobbies- does flipping through US magazine count? Reading- Is great if I can stay awake for more than three pages. Exercise- that’s what SS is for and the step machine collecting dust in my room. Home business- I run my own day care for one child.

So, maybe I am a little jealous of those “do it all moms”. Good thing I will now be a mom forever so I can keep trying out for the “Super Mom” team. There is always going to be next season.

Mom's Night Out

Yay for MNO! When I first signed up for stroller strides I thought how great to walk around a large indoor mall three days a week. I can now push my stroller, chat with other moms and window shop at the same time. Love it.

There are activities planned outside of the mall throughout the month, petting zoo, apple picking, bookstore trips and the wonderful MNO (Mom’s Night Out). This night should be called “Wonderful Night Out Pass 7PM With Other Mom’s Drinking Wine”.

I didn’t know what to expect for my first MNO and getting lost did not help. But to my surprise, all the ladies were dressed cutesy, and a tasting menu of wine was handed out. First thought, “I’m liking this”. Now I’am not an alcoholic but once your a mom the times of drinking for fun are far and too few. Sometimes we need to relax with other moms, laugh about no sleep, share labor stories, complain about our bodies, and share a little of ourselves. If a hangover goes along with it, so be it.

If my monthly dues include instant drinking friends I’ll stay. Yes, I was once the fun club girl who never waited in line..guess this is now my version of a little VIP.

It's true...

Last week after stroller strides, I was standing in line at Starbucks, waiting for my grande non-fat misto, when a woman asked me a question.

“Do you run, is that why you have a BOB stroller ?”

My response, “yes I do run, this stroller is why I wanted a baby”. “Once I found out I was pregnant my first thought was, now I get a BOB”. I loved the blank look on her face, she thought I was kidding. I’m not.

Come on I’m sure we all have or had our own selfish reasons for wanting a child. Mine just happened to involve pushing a cool stroller while running. Was my reason suppose to be, I wanted to gain pregnancy pounds, have my body never be the same, push a child out me, and have her take charge of my life? Didn’t think so.

Lucky for my little lady, caring for her comes way before running...it’s a tight race.

We all have our own reasons for wanting a baby..right?

New developments or lack of

Thinking about my infant’s developments is driving me crazy! As a mom you can’t escape thinking about, reading about, and comparing your child’s developments to other children. Did I sign up for this event in the delivery room when my non- medicated head was spinning around during contractions? Was I told to sign next to the X? Because I’am now a member of the Compare Your Child Forever Team? Great, another thing no one told me about and I never got a t-shirt.

Every week I open some dumb email, telling me “your baby is now BLANK months, and BLANK weeks old, now they’re probably doing such & such”. I, the stupid mom continue to click on the link and read. I read all about what my baby should be doing; what they should be eating, what they should be holding, why they are fussy, how they should be sleeping, how they should be napping, how they should be crawling, should be standing, should try to walk, should try to talk, should this, should that, and what should be next.

Look I have no future plans to try out for a GREAT MOM award. I’m an average mom, just trying to get by with the simple steps. My 10 month old, eats three meals a day from a jar, drinks formula from her bottle, takes two good naps & one cat nap, goes potty in her diaper, hates being on her tummy, puts most objects in her mouth (to make sure they are real), loves her jumpy, loves her baby rave music, thinks bath time is funny, likes to eat her own feet, and sleeps straight from 7:30pm to 6:30am. She’s a baby and not making some scientific discovery.

We are working one holding and drinking from a cup. Has a little trouble tilting it up. Takes after her mother, when her cup is empty she tosses it on the floor. I do the same with my wine glass. If one more person asks, “is she crawling yet”? I will scream, “NO, SHE IS NOT”! Yes, I know she will soon. I don’t bother trying to explain or tell them her excuse. She is a bit behind because she could not have use of her arms till she was 5 months old. I should tell them, “not yet but she knows all her nursery rhymes, can choreograph her own dance routine in the jumper, and knows all the words to GOODNIGHT MOON.

I have not even made it a full year, this is going to be a long game.

Annoyed again

So the other morning during a morning mom activity I overheard a conversation about baby snacks.

A mom of one baby was saying she wasn't sure what kind of snacks to give her boy. He didn't care for the baby puffs.

I thought here is my chance to share something (when I normally wouldn’t bother). "I gave her baby mums, they are easy to hold and dissolve fast". "But they can become sticky".

I had one in our diaper bag and showed this woman. " Here's one, see the shape is easy to hold onto."

Her response, "oh it looks like styrofoam. I don't think I want him to eat something that looks like styrofoam, he may think styrofoam is ok to eat. I will have to think about that one".

My thought, "Seriously weirdo. Don’t infants try to put anything in their mouth no matter the shape, texture or size. Good luck with that. I guess my baby is going to eat paper, cardboard and styrofoam, crazy me."

My response, "Ok."